사진을 발로 찍었었어.. I took the picture with my feet?
Upon my return to Sydney last August, I experienced a significant lack of time. The mere task of managing and organising everything made the days feel incredibly short. There were no fresh ideas for my work, and I lacked enthusiasm as well. (Maybe someday I'll talk about this too).
On one Sunday afternoon in January, I suddenly remembered L and wondered how she was doing. I reached out to her, asking if she could find some time for me. We discussed Thursdays and Sundays, and suddenly, I suggested, 'How about now?' She kindly accepted to meet in 30 minutes. (What an angel she is!)
In just a quick 40 minutes, we took about 200 photos, mainly in The Rocks area, and I really enjoyed that time with L.
It's amusing how L has changed over time. We first met when she was just starting to explore professional modeling. I admit, I can get a bit Gordon Ramsay-esque mad, especially with untalented beginners during shoots (though most clients are unaware 🤐). There are a few model friends whom I scolded a lot, and it still makes me feel guilty. L happened to be one of them.
Anyways, L was different that day. She acted like one of the most positive, confident person in the world. I could feel her trust – a trust that she knows I’ll find a good image and pays for her valuable time. And I like that trust. It’s like I go to my hairdresser, sit down and relax. Not even looking at her hand or wondering what she is doing. Cause I know she’s good. No need to worry.
And some days later, I was searching for images from a few years ago. While exploring them, I was shocked by the photos I had taken. Who took these photos? Yes, it was me, with my expensive Canon 1D X Mark II and 35mm lens. So I checked some other works from around the same time. Yes, it's still me, with my luxury Leica and that expensive Summilux 28mm lens.
And later the day, I found some good images, then realised what had been given to me was so nice.
Grateful friends. Giving and receiving wounds. Sharing memories.
There were some problems between me and photography for the past few months.
Seems like it was all yesterday.
The photo attached is for your reference only. It is not L.
지난 8월에 시드니에 돌아오고 난 후 한동안 전혀 시간이 나지 않았다.
온갖 것들의 정리와 관리만 해도 하루가 너무 짧게 느껴졌다.
새로운 작품에 대한 아이디어도 안 나오고, 의욕도 없고. (언젠가 기회가 되면 이 부분도)
그나마 어쩐지 조금은 한숨을 돌린 것만 같은 기분이 들던 1월의 어느 일요일 오후, 갑자기 뭔가가 떠올랐고 나는 마침 생각난 L의 시간이 어떤지 연락을 했다.
몇 일 후로 시간을 조율하다가, '그럼 지금은?' 이라고 묻는 내게 흔쾌히 30분 내로 나올 수 있다는. (천사야? 🧚🏻♀️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼)
약 40분 가량 200장이 조금 넘는 사진을 찍었고. 이게 얼마만에 자유롭게 즐기는 촬영이었는지.
신기했던 건, 처음 모델이 되고 싶어 몇 년 전 나와 만났었던 L이 달라졌다는 거다.
촬영이 시작되면 특히 초보 모델들과 작업을 할때는 고든 램지처럼 열폭하기도 한다(사실 대부분의 클라이언트들은 잘 모르는 사실 🥲). 한참 시간이 지나고 떠올려도 그때 참 나도 하며 미안한 마음이 드는 친구들이 몇 명 있는데.
그 중 한 명이 L이었다는.
하튼, 그 날 L은 달랐다. 마치 온 세상을 긍정과 자신감으로 감싸는 듯한 느낌이었다. 알아서 잘 찍어줄 거라는 믿음(사실 이런 마음이면 좋다. 스냅이든 프로필이든 가만히 있어도 각도를 찾아내고 빛을 바꿔가며 좋은 작품 만들어주기 위해 수없이 많이 연습하고 공부해왔으니).
그리고 또 시간이 흘러 일하던 중 4-5년 전쯤 찍었던 사진들 중 찾아야 하는 사진이 있었고, 사진들을 다시 보다 보니, 이건 뭐 사진을 발로 찍었었는지... 황당해서 몇 개 더 찾아보다 보니 오늘의 내가 되기까지 참 수많은 사람들을 지나쳤구나 싶었다.
고마운 사람들. 상처도 주고 받고. 추억도 주고 받고.
지난 몇 달 동안 나와 사진 간에 있었던 문제는 어제의 일로.
What was in this diary?
The Rocks - https://www.therocks.com/
Gordon Ramsay - https://www.instagram.com/gordongram/
Canon 1D X Mark II - https://petapixel.com/2016/06/29/canon-1d-x-mark-ii-new-king-canon-sensors-dxomark/
Canon 35mm - https://www.thephoblographer.com/2013/06/07/review-canon-35mm-f2-is-canon-ef/
Leica - https://youtu.be/SSG14r374xI?si=SBmq0xhSzQx7qHlO
Summilux 28mm - https://wiki.l-camera-forum.com/leica-wiki.en/index.php/28mm_f/1.4_ASPH._Summilux-M